Friday, March 02, 2007
Sometimes The Daily Show
"You see what you did there? The logic trap you fell into? You're thinking of Dick Cheney as some kind of...person."
"He's not a...he's not a person?"
"John. No human being could simulaneously contain so many self-negating ideas without suffering some sort of brain injury—or heart attacks. Even multiple heart attacks."
"But then, what...what is Cheney?"
"Vice President Dick Cheney is a fleet of cyborgs stationed around the world in vacuum-sealed pods every 15th line of latitude. He—or should I say, they—is a technological marvel. And each replicant is programmed differently. The Cheney XR-7 is programmed to convince us that we are safer and winning the war on terror, while the Cheney-VR Turbo will stop at nothing to keep us in a perpetual state of submissive fear. The Cheney-BF 3000 loves his lesbian daughter, but John, do not get her near the Dick Cheney Omega-8: he thinks she's an abomination."