In honor of Labor Day, I thought I'd take a look back at some of the jobs I've had.
One of my first jobs was waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant frequented by bad Kennedy impersonators. "Aya, would, er, uh, like some of the, er, uh, Moo Shu Pahwk and some er, uh, Won Ton Soup, er, uh, please," they'd say. I eventually got fired for making one too many school book depository jokes. The restaurant also attracted Marilyn Monroe impersonators, but unfortunately, few of them were female.
For a while I drove the zamboni
at the Aga Khan's private skating rink. Well, actually, my official title was Zambonist Curator, and I did have to spend some time negotiating the purchase and repair of classical statuary, but mostly I drove the zamboni.
One of my more unusual jobs was as an intervention coordinator for Bonsai Anonymous.
The most exhausting job I ever had, by far, was working the suicide hotline in Zelenograd.
My friend Generik
once got me a job as a tour guide for Hitchcock's San Francisco, showing tourists places like where Kim Novak jumped into the bay in Vertigo
. This isn't it, but hey, you can tell tourists pretty much anything.
I had a brief career as a director of political commercials, but my "Vote Republican: We're Big, We're Smelly, We're Overaccessorized, And Once We Get Going, We Crush Everything In Our Path" spot proved to be my undoing.
I also worked for a time in product placement for the American Propane Association. Here's a shot I took of my boss only moments before Anthony Minghella himself personally cussed us out and had us ejected from a location shoot for The English Patient.
My theater jobs have included a stint as a stagehand for the off-Broadway production of Missing Eyelash, Failing Mouthwash.
Now I work for ASBADL, the All Sentient Beings Anti-Defamation League. Our current project is this thing. We know it's highly offensive; we just can't figure out to which species.
Random Flickr Blogging explained here; photos from here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.
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